Unexpected Tears

I generally don't cry unexpectedly. I hate crying in public. I keep control. It's just what I do. Once doors are closed or the event is over, I'll shed a few tears in private. That works best for me.

Because of that, I was surprised when tears ran down my face during the vote on resolution 1327 at my denomination's General Assembly. The resolution is non-binding, but as forceful a stand as the whole denomination will ever take on any particular issue. The language in the resolution is pretty mild, "encouraging" all congregations to become open & affirming to folks of the LGBT communities. Each congregation still chooses their own pastor. Each region still chooses whom to ordain. This resolution is a step, not a leap. It's a nudge, not a push. It was still seen as divisive. The entire assembly prayed about it multiple times. There's still a lot of uncertainty from a lot of folks, despite the fact that the resolution passed by an overwhelming majority.

During the debates, during the voting, though, tears streamed down my face.

And one prayer echoed through my mind: "Say yes."

"Please, please say yes."

Now several weeks ago, I wrote about the power of offering God's yes to people for the DOC group, GLAD Alliance, that works for LGBT rights.

And I wanted that for my denomination. I knew that going in. I knew I would vote in support of the resolution before I ever packed a bag, much less walked into the business session.

But the tears were unexpected. They were from a deep, holy place. Those sorts of tears only come when rooted in a place where I was transformed. The last time they fell? When I watched a young man, one of my youth group kids, whom I never expected to love, perform in his school play. I was so proud of him. I was so proud of God's work in his life. I was so blessed to have him and get to love him. They were holy tears.

And so were these. They were tears of hope. They were tears born from my own rejection in the church. They were tears born of welcome in holy places I never expected.They were tears from some place deep inside. They were tears from God.

And I was so proud to stand among those counted to say yes to some more of God's beloved children.

And the tears continued when I realized how many of my brothers and sisters stood up to be counted among those speaking God's yes to God's children.

For those unexpected tears, I am thankful. Maybe, just maybe, they are a sign that God is healing some of the tears in the world, tears that have caused so, so many tears.