Ingratitude

"Give thanks to the Lord" is kinda like the "once upon a time" of the Psalms. Seriously. While not every psalm has to start that way, if you don't have something else, give it a whirl. I'm sure some ancient songwriter would agree.

Here's a confession: I'm been restless lately. I've lived in my apartment for over three years and had the same job for over three years. It's the longest I've lived in any place since I was 17. Actually, this is the longest I've held a single job, too. I happen to have a job I like, with people I like. Still, I've been restless, longing for something new. 

A man I've eaten dinner with a few times stopped by today, asking for help. We ate dinner together because he was homeless; now he's homeless again. The reasons why have little to do with him and lot to do with other people's decisions and not enough money. I gave him and his wife part of their car payment due tomorrow, filled up their gas tank, and gave them a gift card to buy groceries. All told, it was just over $100. If we had more regular requests from people, I couldn't be so generous. As is, we collect change in gray buckets on the first Sunday of each month; it adds up pretty quickly and I can usually meet the occasional request for some gas or food. His request was the first one I've fulfilled this year. He sat in my office, talked about living in his car, worrying about his wife, and still said, "God is good."

I nodded and he said, "No, really. I asked God to get me through this and he's already doing it. You."

Right. Jesus said that whatever we did for the least of these, we did for him. I know that. I talk about cooperation with divine will all the time. I deeply believe we are called to work with God, longing for the same things, seeking the same justice, camping out near God's reign. Yet, I sometimes forget.

I've been reading a stack of books on evangelism lately. One of them diagnosed my problem of restlessness in a painfully direct way: ingratitude. When we want something new, something more, something else, it's because we fail to be grateful for what we have. I hate it when something like that stares me in the face. Gah. It's not just the stuff, though there's plenty to talk about there. The only reason there's a lack of food in my fridge is because I don't want to go grocery shopping. I can afford to live alone, so no one else ate it. There's even a car all my own in the parking lot to get me to the store.

Put the stuff aside, though, and there's still a lot. I serve a church that's willing to take a risk to try and offer no interest loans to poor people, for one. Sometimes my job actually blows my mind in the best ways. Being invited in for life, death, and everything in between. It's one of the most beautiful and crazy things ever.

Somehow, still, I've learned ingratitude.

Today, I'll listen to the echoes, "Give thanks to the Lord." We are, all of us, forgetful people. We have to be reminded often.

So I'll remind you, "Give thanks to the Lord."