It seems to be the week of striking down gay marriage bans. Oregon and Pennsylvania are the most recent. Other states--well, commonwealths--are fighting the fact their ban was struck down. Some are fighting with attorneys hired just for that purpose.
I'm happy that the bans are disappearing. I hope and pray that they all are struck down. I hope that some time soon, we realize this is a federal issue, too, not just a state one, if for no other reason than immigration is federal.
Yet, every time I see another headline about a marriage ban struck down, I keep thinking that it's not quite enough. Yes, same-sex couples can marry in that state. But they can do so only because a judge somewhere said, "You don't get to stop them." It might be a matter of semantics, but it's not the same as saying, "We think you should be able to get married."
It's the difference between loving your neighbor and tolerating your neighbor. Guess what? Christians are called to do the first one, not the second one. Tolerance is the I-guess-I can't-stop-you response. Love is the of-course-you-deserve-this-too response.
Love is what's demanded of those of us who follow Christ. Not gritting our teeth. Not pretending it's not happening. Not skipping the questions we don't actually want to know the answer to. Love. As clear as Jesus ever said anything, he said, "Love your neighbor as yourself."
So for those whose weddings past or future include plenty of family and friends, a minister whom you love, vendors who don't look at you and your betrothed strangely or refuse to serve you, and everything tailored to who you are if you're willing to throw enough money into your wedding, remember, "Love your neighbor as yourself."
They deserve more than "Well, now we can't stop you."
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