If I Weren't a Pastor

I wonder sometimes what I'd look for in a church if my life weren't so closely linked with the church. I was a freshman in college the last time I truly chose a church based only on what I wanted. The criteria I used them no longer apply. Not even a little bit. The occasional evening when I attend worship somewhere so I can just attend worship offers little insight; evening services are limited and that community is never going to be my primary faith community.

Here are a few things, though, that I think I'd be looking for:

• Easy entry and exit. As in, please make it obvious where I should enter the building. Give me any necessary instructions to participate in the worship service. Be welcoming, but let me choose how much to engage. Make it easy for me to leave when I'm ready.
• A few folks like me. I don't know what "like me" means exactly and it doesn't have to be limited to age. People with whom I have enough experience and similar language that we can share our faith more deeply. I'd surely learn the love some more folks than just those, but those would help a lot in the short term. 
• Welcome of me. I have this vague idea that if I became engaged in any community, the first things I would be asked to do are help in the nursery, teach kids' Sunday school or help with the youth group. All of those requests are coming from an age and gender bias. I'd rather do mission or serve in worship, actually. I'm much better at reading scripture aloud than holding a baby. Seriously. Me reading scripture inspires confidence; me holding a baby makes everybody nervous, including the baby. 
• Calm. I'm not talking about absence of energy. I'm talking about a place that quells anxiety and worry. A place that, overall, eased the stresses of daily life, not added to them. Some place that gets there's a peace that passes understanding and somehow rests in that. 

It's strange, I think, that the first things that come to mind have little to do with theology or worship style. They have a lot to do with church culture. 

And I wonder if maybe, just maybe, that's what matters more in the long run.